Parable of the Stones, and how it relates to Marketing

The Parable of the Stones

Bobby, a 10 year old boy, went for a hike with his family. Along the way, he would pick up the stones he came across and toss them off the path. As the hike continued, he started to make small contests for himself, like figuring out how many fallen trees or stumps he could hit with the stones. As with most children, the imagination kicked in and this eventually turned into a battle scene and the stumps became enemies he would throw the stones at.

As he got older, Bobby went on another family trip to a lake. While there, he learned that certain stones…when thrown just right…would actually skip across the surface of the lake. Not every stone was the same any more. Those he found that were flatter and lighter would skip more times. Other stones we quickly discarded in favor of the the ones that server his goal of the most skips.

In school one semester, years after the family trips, Bobby was in a Geology Class. It turned out that there were many types of stones. Some were harder than others, had variations in color and much more. This new found knowledge made him think back to all the stones he had thrown and how he used to classify all stones as the same…then based upon whether they were able to skip and nothing more. Apparently, some stones were even worth money to the right buyer. Who knows how many valuable stones were embedded in tree trunks or at the bottom of the lake today.

Bobby made a decision after that class to learn more about the stones he used to use for entertainment and make believe all those years as he was growing up. He got a job out of school, earned some money to invest in tools and knowledge. He bought a stone cutter. He attended conferences where others with a similar passion would gather and discuss why some stones were worth more than others and even learned about meteorites. He started making jewelry from the stones he found or purchased. After years of working with and learning about something he loved, he was able to quit his day job. Now he has a successful business and when he attends the same conferences he teaches others about the wonders he found over his journey.

Lessons To Be Learned

Before I share the lessons from this parable as it relates to Online Marketing/Network Marketing…please leave your thoughts and interpretations in a comment below…

When I wrote this parable, I had a specific intent in mind. As I read it to myself and others, I noticed there were other lessons that could come from this simple story. When I started in the marketing world, one of the treasures to me personally was the introduction of self help books and audios into my life. I learned so much, and a parable is a great way to remember a lesson.

For example, the story about the Sower of Seeds that Jim Rohn adapted from the Bible to teach lessons I can remember to this day even though I heard it years ago. The way he told the story and how he interpreted the story play a large role as well. So I don’t think simply reading this story has the same effect. But I hope it helps someone.

Not Every Company Is The Same

One way to interpret this story is how the view of the stones changes over time and with experience. If you consider the multitude of network marketing companies that exist today as if they were the stone in the story, then perspective may change between “they are all the same” and some are a jewel mistaken as just another stone.

I’m not just referring to the idea that some companies are better than others. That debate is heard over and over by less experienced marketers who claim the company they are working with is better than any other. The fact is, what is considered better by some may be just the reason others will not like the company.

It may even be true to some extent that some companies are better than others. Maybe you consider the management, the distribution, the compensation plan, the compliance department, the products themselves even. All reasons given between friends trying to convince someone else to join their company.

No, what I am referring to here is a common statement we hear from inexperienced marketers all the time. “I was in company A and company B and in my experience it is too hard to recruit new people”. This comes from a person with enough experience in marketing to be at the same level as Bobby the 10 year old version. They are all the same.

If you find yourself thinking self doubt thoughts like this, I hope the story will help you to remember to talk yourself out of it. Again, yes there are difference between the companies…no two stones are the same. But your thinking that it will be different if I just throw this other stone for a while is the issue. The only common denominator in all of those companies was YOU. Sorry! I know it hurts. I’m just speaking the truth. Someone has to say it.

Now, I’m not referring to a company that does something to ruin your business. Changing the rules after the game is started has happened to a lot of experienced marketers. Or to companies that are out of business today…whether mismanaged or over leveraged or shut down or outright thieves who steal a marketers business out from under them. That is another ball game all together.

When I hear a prospect say this about companies that are still around today and others are successful in, then I know it is like the stones. Maybe they didn’t stick with their company long enough. A very common issue where they went through the challenge of getting everything set up just to not be satisfied that they are not wealthy fast enough or they compare their results to their neighbors and don’t measure up. They might not believe in all that “self-help mumbo-jumbo” that has saved SO many people’s businesses.

The point is…don’t look at the next opportunity as just another stone. Or even pick some piece like how flat the stone is; this compensation plan is way better than my last company. Once you’ve been in the industry long enough, you may start to recognize differences between companies just as their are differences between the stones as Bobby learned in Geology class.

Veteran marketers know the subtle differences through experience, relationships with others in different companies, etc. Eventually the leaders are invited to meetings with other leaders and mentor-ship seminars or coaching programs where those in the highest levels of various businesses get together to discuss building and training their teams, bettering themselves, etc.

Experience Means Something

John Maxwell, in Developing the Leader Within You, lets the audience in on a secret about why he is such a good author and speaker. He says it is because he has done it over 10,000 times. You stop getting nervous, you know what to say next, you make it look easy after you have done something for so long. He loves what he does because it was a passion he wanted to get good at, he continued doing it and learning for years, then eventually he simply became an expert.

As a software developer, I know this to be true. I started coding at 7 years old. I loved learning new languages and learning how to make the computer do what I wanted it to do. By the time I made it to college, I had already been paid to program software for business. I eventually got to a place in my knowledge where I could tell you how the compiler would interpret my code before I even built the code.

I still remember a programming class in college where I was paired with three others and were given an assignment. When we gathered in the computer lab, we passed multiple other groups complaining about how long it was taking to get their code right, how many errors they were getting and how hard it was to determine where the errors were in their code. When we sat down at our station, my partners shot me a look of dread and asked “how long are we going to be here?”. About five minutes I told them and we will have about 77 errors. To which they asked whether I had already ran the code, and how could you possibly know that, and then if that is true I will buy you breakfast. I’m dating myself here, but at that time we didn’t all have personal computers and coding was done in a lab. I was able to type the code in, but didn’t have a compiler to try it out ahead of time. I simply had enough experience to know how the compiler would interpret the code and ran it through my head on the way to the lab. I already knew there were two issues in the code I had thought of. And I knew this compiler gave a ton of errors that had nothing to do with the actual problem…so you had to know where the errors were and fix the logic yourself in those days. Sure enough, we had 77 error messages (I got really lucky there, but don’t tell them that). I fixed the issues I had thought of, re-compiled it and it worked flawlessly. After a round of shocked and stunned stares…I got a free breakfast. That is a big win in college!

Yes, I was hated in classes, but it was something I was very passionate about. When learning a new language for another client or another job, I created the perfect system for mastering a new language. Rather than buy a single 1000 page book, I would buy three. Why? I wasn’t even a fast reader. But I knew that once I read all three and tried the samples, I could not only master the language, but I knew something most did not. If a topic was described in all three books, then I knew it was a basic or core concept in that language. If it was in two of the three, then that was an intermediate topic. And those that were only taught by one author…those were the nuggets of advanced information. Those were either very useless…or very special…depending upon the project.

Why is this relevant to this story? Why is it relevant to marketing? Because in the story, you see Bobby going through this process. In the beginning, you don’t know what you don’t know. Every stone is just something used for one purpose. Marketers who are new are like this childhood Bobby. Every company looks the same, they failed at one so it must be that vehicle, etc. The experienced Bobby has been studying longer. He knows others who had the information he wanted and he sought them out and learned from them. He spent money on tools and conferences and learned everything he could, then kept on learning.

The reason this is relevant is that you have to stick with it long enough to get good enough to make real money with it. Bobby didn’t just go out and get venture capital to start his business. He didn’t quit his day job until he was ready to go full time with what he loved. He didn’t expect success over night, he may not have even believed in the beginning he had found something that could be a career one day.

Many people when they find marketing think that if they have the right company, the right team, the right coach, the right whatever…they will be able to shortcut the process of learning how to build a real, long term business. Yes, the concepts are simple, but it takes time to build a business and learn what you don’t know. It is not easy.

Today, I can program in literally ANY programming language out there in a matter of hours. I no longer have to read three books or take courses. I can simply use Google, look up the syntax differences and get started. Compiled, interpreted, markup, whatever. I even teach others how to code. But, no matter how hard I try…I can’t get them to be as proficient as I am in a shorter amount of time. Trust me, I have tried. And it is the same in the business and marketing world. Yes, you should find experts and learn from them. But you HAVE to put in the work.

If you think it is because of technology changes and the advent of online learning that I can pick up a new language so fast…then you have missed the point. It isn’t. I have written tens of thousands of lines of code. I know the subtle differences between the languages and simply that…subtle. The logic, the strategy, the process never changes. Only the tactics (language specifics) do.

In marketing, it is the same. An experienced marketer can sell ANYTHING! They know how to craft an offer, how to craft the right copy, how to set up the process of following up with a prospect (yes, this predates the funnels we use today) and the strategy inside and out. They have done it over and over. Maybe 10,000 times? The company does not matter, the product or service does not matter. I hope that makes sense at this point. Find a mentor who has been around a long time and has had success and follow them. Try it on your own and get help in correcting it and try again. Stay with it long enough to get good enough that you transform from student to teacher without even trying. Once you do it long enough, you will learn. Once you learn long enough you will have success with it. Once you have success long enough, you will become an expert and people will seek you out. It becomes easy, natural even.

99% of the time, in the developer’s world, they are failing! You heard that right. Once it works, they are done and move on to the next issue to solve. Most of their time is spent getting something to work the way it is supposed to. But that 1% of the time is really exciting! You have to fail enough times and learn what not to do before you get good enough to not repeat the same mistakes and then the successes come faster and faster. Einstein said “you never stop failing until you stop trying” and “a person who never made a mistake never tried anything new”. The first thousand tries are just to learn a thousand ways not to do something.

Again, you can short-cut this learning process by getting the right mentor. But don’t think for a second that you won’t make mistakes anyway or that mistakes are a bad thing. Don’t give up. Keep at it long enough to get to the other side where it just seems like it is so easy for you when an outside views your success.

Some Stones Should Be Thrown

My final interpretation of this story is in relation to prospects. It is easy to tell when someone is either new to marketing or hasn’t learned one of the key lessons this parable alludes to. And that is the idea of knowing who your perfect prospects are.

Take network marketing for example. A new marketer gets excited at the possibility of making a ton of money and getting into a better neighborhood or replacing their income or any number of very worthwhile goals and dreams. Then they hinge their success on one or two people they know. They think “if John were to join me in this business then we would be rich…he knows everyone and they all trust him and listen to him”. Then they talk to John, who says no, and they are heart-broken. You see it all the time. They see John as the gold nugget and try to reach the gold without digging through the other layers of rock.

Another way to view this is in terms of those who think every stone is worth something. Rather than taking the time to cultivate their knowledge and learn to recognize which prospects are right for the business…they think everyone should join. “If they only knew what I know, about how great this opportunity is, they would join”. And then comes the convincing and maybe even the pleading with each prospect to join. Yes, I did this when I first got started. And I know you did too.

My hope is that you think of this story the next time you are thinking that way. Realize that young Bobby saw every stone as the same. They all served his purpose. Or they are like slightly older Bobby and looked only for a certain type of person to fit their need. And that is the key right there, in both scenarios. That marketer is thinking of their own needs when these thought creep in. And they believe everyone is perfect for their business.

Not everyone is perfect for your business. And that is a good thing! If every stone were a precious metal or a diamond or a rare collectible stone, then there would be an abundance of those stones and they would no longer be worth anything. The same is true of prospects. Think about it. If everyone were in the business, then who would run the stores you want to shop in, who would cook the food, who would fly the plane, who would build your dream home, who would design your next car or game or toy? I don;t say this to belittle ANYONE. There are people in those careers who simply love what they do and they are happy doing it. Not everyone needs or is ready to start a business.

Stop chasing every stone out there! The right ones will seek you out and want what you have to offer. The key to good marketing is learning how to get your offer, your message, in front of the right people. Then realizing that MOST of the people who say they want more information or even sign up and get started later decide it is not for them. And that is OK. Work with the ones who are ready…there are plenty of them out there! Yes, you want to help friends and family, we all do. And when you are successful, they will ask you about what you do and you can show them then. Just realize that good marketing is getting your message in front of the right people and having them come to you rather than having to chase after the ones who are not ready yet. It is not called Network Selling…it is called Network Marketing. I am not here to teach Advertising or Selling…I’m here to teach Marketing.

To that note, I will reward those of you who have read this far with a free gift. Here is my Marketing vs. Selling mini-book just for you. I sell this elsewhere for $37, but it’s yours free.

I hope you find this Parable useful. Please leave comments below with any use you do get from it. Thank you for your time.

If you would like to learn more about marketing and what I do, you can visit my YouTube channel or my Facebook page and reach out there.

To your future success!

Jeremy T. James